Funny School Answers

Funny School AnswersThe following questions were set in  GCSE examination in England.

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

Embrio-one wheeled Motorcycle

The EMBRIO Advanced Concept is a one-wheeled recreational and commuting vehicle for the year 2025, designed by the Canadian company Bombardier Recreational Products. Although the riding position is similar to that of a motorcycle, the vehicle uses sensors and gyroscopes to balance up to two passengers on a large single wheel whilst driving. Specifications and pictures of this weird motorcycle are showed below:

one wheeled motorcycle pictures

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

MODEL NAME: EMBRIO Advanced Concept
DEVELOPED BY:Bombardier Recreational Products
STATUS: Concept
YEAR: 2003
DRIVE SYSTEM: Fuel cell electric
FUEL: Hydrogen
LENGTH: 1,240 mm (48.8 in)
WIDTH: 700 mm (27.5 in)
HEIGHT: 1,200 mm (47.5 in)
WEIGHT: 164 kg (360 lbs)
SEATING CAPACITY: 2

one wheeled motorcycle pictures

one wheeled motorcycle pictures

Although the vehicle will also remain stable when motionless, with two small front wheels deployed at speeds below 20 kilometres per hour (12.5 mph). To move forward, the rider activates a trigger on the left handlebar. At a speed of 20 kilometres per hour (12.5 mph) the front wheels or “landing gear” retracts so the rider is balancing on the large single wheel. To turn the rider leans to the left or right. The brake is activated by a trigger on the right handlebar. Fuel cells running on hydrogen provide electricity for the electric motor which drives the single wheel.

Sexiest Cars Of 2010

Porsche 918 Spyder Hybrid– A Charm to look at, this open two-seater plug in hybrid sports car has a fluid cooled lithium ion battery that gives it the perfect charge.  This sly Spyder is often called the predator of the road and it exhibits a modern slipstream carbon fiber design that races from 0-100 Kmph in no more than 3.2 seconds. Although it has a top speed of almost 320 Kmph its fuel efficiency is not compromised and it can give up to 35 Km per liter. This amounts to 70 grams CO2 per Km which is considered an excellent achievement for a beast which runs on a powerful V8 engine that roars once it’s on the street.

Alfa Romeo Giulietta– the Italians do more than bake bread and the perfect example of their achievements in the field of automobiles is the Giulietta. This aerodynamic hatchback with five doors has the requisite dynamic features to show both comfort and aggression. Second only to their pizzas and spaghetti, this car’s base model runs on a 1.4 liter multi-air turbocharged gas engine and the higher cloverleaf model performs its best on a 235 horse power 1.75 liter turbocharged gas engine.

Mercedes F800 Style– the F800 shows a clearly mature and responsible design as it sees Mercedes in the form of a spacious five-seater sedan which has a more futuristic approach to the car’s external styling and also in its approach to the environment. Its plug in hybrid gives almost over 400 bhp of raw power and this in combination with the fuel cells system and the electric drive offer a very good drive and reach speeds of over 375 Kmph. A 300hp direct injection V6 gas engine and a 109hp hybrid module allow the car to function perfectly with and without fuel and also allowing it to run close to 18 miles on pure electricity. That by any standards is an achievement.

Audi A1– How many of you fell in love with the Audi in the movie ‘The Transporter’? The brand new Audi A1 will have you crave for one of your own. A single look at it is enough to get your jaws to drop.  With an exterior style that can be compared to the likes of Mini Cooper, this car provides both a front wheel and back wheel drive mechanism options. The tax issues imposed on Audi make it almost impossible for it to appear on the US markets till 2015 but its features are well worth the wait. It comes in four doors as well as in two doors. A fully customized interior and LED and xenon lights make this car a pleasure to behold.

Ferrari 599 HY KERS– another Italian makes the top as Ferrari gives the world one more beauty. This stallion comes with a green makeover and features Ferrari’s latest regenerative braking technology integrated into seven dual clutch transmission and installed right below the centre of gravity of the car. The car’s already powerful V12 engine is further enhanced by the 100horse power that is added by the KERS system which weighs almost 40 Kilograms. Apart from these features it can even drive on pure electricity which is suitable for city drivers.

Lotus Evora– No motor show is complete without Lotus displaying its precision engineering. This year Lotus has a 1382 Kilogram 3.5 liter V6 mid-engine sports car that speeds from 0-100 in only 5.1 seconds. Apart from offering a top speed of 231kmph this lightweight sports car consumes only 8.7 liter of fuel for every 100 km travelled with a carbon emission of less than 205 g per km of CO2. A rear diffuser and a spoiler and installed to use aerodynamics tricks to keep the car stable at high speeds. Since it uses Bilstein shocks and Eibach springs it should flow about smoothly. The sense of having a good interior is not lost on Lotus as they cushion Evora’s interior with air conditioning, tire pressure monitoring system, a remote garage door opener and leather seating. An alpine audio system with provisions for iPod and Bluetooth connectivity are some of the other features used in this car.

World Most Expensive Car from Tramontana

Here’s one of the most expensive cars in the world, worth about 2 million euros, or around 2,6 million dollar. And the brand was not very well known in the automotive world.

The car is the Tramontana. The results of the European car manufacturers claim based on the Costa Brava, Spain. Tramontana become one of the world’s most expensive brands coupled with premium brands such as Bugatti, Rolls Royce or Mclaren.

Tramontana itself is a combination of Formula 1 cars with jet engines!.

This car has tremendous power because of the appearance of a twin engine turbo V12 with 760 hp of power that can be pulled from 0-100 km / h in just 3.6 seconds. That’s from the engine innards.

From any outside body endowed Tramontana exotic appearance, the soul of this art Tramontana sapuhan more obvious with colorful paint that has a chameleon effect, aka can change the color of Leal-Audirac claim.

Tramontana paint color can change and move from purple to blue and
from green to gold. Leal-Audirac goal is to create a “sculpture Silk” and no doubt the visual effect is the core purpose of the car creations

Tramontana R World Most Expensive Car from Tramontana

Tramontana R Gallery 041 World Most Expensive Car from Tramontana

More pictures of Tramontana

90/10 Principle – By Stephen Covey

What is Principle?

10% made up of what happens to you… 90% of life decided how you react…

What does this mean?

We really have NO control over 10% of what has happen to us…

The other 90% is different…

You determine the other 90%.
How?
By your reaction…

You cannot control a red light… However you can control your reaction…

Do not let people fool You… You can control how you react.

Let use an Example…

You are having breakfast along with your family.
Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt…

You have NO control over what has just happened.
What happens next will be determined how you react.

You Curse… you harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.
She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table…
A short verbal battle follows…

You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to school.
She misses her Bus…

Your spouse must leave immediately for work…

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late you drive 40miles per hour in 30 mph speed limit zone.

After a 15 minute delay and throwing Rs.500.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.
Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minute late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started terrible.
As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with you daughter and wife.

Why????

Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad Day??

A) Did the Coffee cause it?
B) Did you Daughter cause it?
C) Did the police man cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is…. (D). Only you cause it…

You had no control over what happened with coffee.

How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you.
Your daughter about to cry.

You gently say “It’s Okay Honey you just need to be more careful next time…”

Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt.
You grab your briefcase and you come back in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.

She turns and waves.
You arrive 5 minutes early a cheerfully greet the staff.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios.
Both started same.
Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you reacted.

You really have NO control over 10% of what happens in your life.

The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Now you know the 90/10 principal.

Apply it you will be amazed at the results.

The Result?

You will see it by yourself!

Millions of people suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.

We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It can change your life.

It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience.

Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it’s like a Boomerang. It will come back to us.

If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first.
May be we will end with our hands empty, but our hearts will fill with love.

And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts…

Amazing Underwater Friendship Between Dolphin and Tiger

Those tigers seems to be real water-lovers, opposite to their little relatives, cats, who seems to be terribly afraid of water. Anyways, it is pretty normal to see photos of swimming and diving tiger today but if you add there some dolphin then things can become really odd.