Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don’t have class ’coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss) make call to his secretary: This week
I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can’t give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don’t worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
Dear FriendsThere’s always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline,which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause”.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: “Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
Operator: “What sort of trouble??”
Caller: “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
Operator: “Went away?”
Caller: “They disappeared.”
Operator: “Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
Caller: “It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
Operator: “Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??”
Caller: “How do I tell?”
Operator: “Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??”
Caller: “What’s a sea-prompt?”
Operator: “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”
Caller: “There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
Operator: “Does your monitor have a power indicator??”
Caller: “What’s a monitor?”
Operator: “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on??”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Operator: “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??”
Caller: “Yes, I think so.”
Operator: “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Caller: “Yes, it is.”
Operator: “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it,not just one??”
Operator: “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Caller: “Okay, here it is.”
Operator:” Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
Caller: “I can’t reach.”
Operator: “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??”
Operator: “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??”
Caller: “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle – it’s because it’s dark.”
Caller: “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
Operator: “Well, turn on the office light then.”
Caller: “I can’t.”
Operator: “No? Why not??”
Caller: “Because there’s a power failure.”
Operator: “A power… A power failure? Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??”
Caller: “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
Operator: “Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
Caller: “Really? Is it that bad?”
Operator: “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
Caller: “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??”
Operator: “Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”
|Once I was asked by my Friend, “What is the secret behind your happy married life?”
I said, “You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems.”
He asked, “Can you explain?”
I said, “In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other’s decisions.”
Still not convinced, Friend asked me “Give me some examples”
I said, “Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it”
He asked, “Then what is your role?”
I said, “My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and Do you know one thing, My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions”
No need to fry.. Readymade Omlet/Bullseye by nature!!!
Corn turned into popcorn on tree !!
Pig tuned to Pork – Ready to Eat !!!
” Stop Global Warming “
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So they both gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
———— ——— ——— ———
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……. When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away…. ———— ——— ——— ———-
NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA) :
———— ——— ——— ———— —
Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too are equal”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket. Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!… TC arrives…. ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE.. One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One Hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket and comes in engg. Bathroom… TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined
———— ——— ——— ———— —
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA) :
———— ——— ——— ———–
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune. This time doctors decide that they will play the same(1 ticket) trick. ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time… SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets….. Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train……. ……
———— ——— ——— ———— ——— ——— —-
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are genius, So don’t mess with Engineer Your smile is your best friend…make it someone else’s too!
`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨ ) Keep
`·.¸.·´ Just for kidding.
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an autorickshaw.
They met with an accident and all three of them died. Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision. He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made.
All the three of them had served the public.
Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made;
and should not be just based on opinion or pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.
PVNR is asked to spell ” INDIA ” and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell ” ENGLAND ” and he too passes.
It is Laloo’s turn and he is asked to spell ” CZECHOSLOVAKIA “.
Laloo protests that he doesn’t know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write “KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW”. He writes it easily and passes.
Advani is asked to write “BILLY BOLI MEOW MEOW”. He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write “BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR…..”
Tough one. He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren’t), he
Now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history.
Yama says ‘OK’, but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.
PVNR is asked: “When did India get Independence ?”.
He replied “1947” and passed.
Advani is asked “How many people died during the independence struggle?”.
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or 200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It’s Laloo’s turn now.
Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.