humourous – Orangepole

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,

So make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and

I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going

abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving

private tution: I have work for a week, so you need

not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a

week I don’t have class ’coz my teacher is busy. Lets

spend the week together.

Grandpa(the 1st boss) make call to his secretary: This week

I am spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend

that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss

has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend

this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving

private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my

teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I

can’t give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don’t worry this

week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement

…………….

…….

…

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California

when suddenly a brand-new BMW 7 Series advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Cartier sunglasses and YSL

tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, ‘If I tell you exactly how many

cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?’

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd

and calmly answers, ‘Sure, Why not?’ The yuppie parks his car, whips out his HP notebook

computer, connects it to his Nokia N95 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet,

where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another
NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resoluti on photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image
processing facility in Hamburg , Germany …

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that
the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through
an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-Tech Miniaturized HP
LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,

‘You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.’
‘That’s right ! Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,’ says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it
into the trunk of his car..

Then Bud says to the young man,
‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?’
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’

‘You’re an IT Consultant’, says Bud. ——–

‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the yuppie, ‘but how did you guess that?’

‘No guessing required.’ answered the cowboy.

‘You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked.

You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are;
and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep. . . . . . . . . . .’

[I like reading the last statement again and again]
”Now give me back my dog”